Self-Esteem Issues

Self-Esteem Issues

Self-esteem refers to how we value ourselves. It is our belief of our value to the world around us and how important we think we are to others in our life. Our self-esteem can affect our levels of trust we have in others, our relationships and friendships and our work or study. Self-esteem affects nearly every aspect of our life.

A healthy self-esteem can have a positive impact on our life especially our relationships and our work. Positive self-esteem gives us the strength and flexibility to take charge of our lives and learn from opportunities presented to us without fear of rejection.

Everyone has self-esteem. Self-esteem is dynamic and changes from day-to-day and situation-to-situation. Sometimes we might experience low esteem and at other times we might experience high self-esteem. Sometimes, some people experience low self-esteem, low self-confidence and low self-worth. All these aspects are part of our self-esteem.

People who have low self-esteem often put themselves down. This can have a dramatic affect on a relationship, as it can cause issues with jealousy, and also make people feel as if they are ‘lucky’ to be with their partner, resulting in them constantly worrying that they may be ditched. Low self-esteem affects everybody, some more so than others, but it is how you deal with it that can prevent it from becoming an issue in your relationship. If you allow issues with self-esteem to run your relationship, then this can be the basis for problems between you and your partner.

The problems caused by low-self esteem can be great, but are often put down to other things. Below are some of the typical problems it causes:

  • Jealousy – Low self-esteem can cause individuals to constantly strive for the attention of their loved one. If your partner is merely communicating with a person of the opposite sex this can cause you to take things out of context.
  • Over-sensitive – Low self-esteem can cause you to take playful criticism too close to heart. This can cause a gulf in your relationship, as you may no longer feel close to your partner.
  • Self-worth – Low self-esteem can cause people to believe they are very lucky to be with their partner. This can lead some people to remain in an abusive relationship.
  • Memories – If you allow negative memories from prior relationships to affect you, then this can place great strain upon your relationship.
  • Sex – Feeling unattractive can result in you shying away from your partner’s advances.
  • Anger – Low self-esteem can cause negative feelings to build up, and this can be released through aggressive behaviour.


Counselling for low self-esteem involves an exploration of how it may have evolved (early experiences or more recent events), how it affects your day-to-day life, and how you would like things to change. Counselling will offer you the tools to reach those goals, in the context of a safe and supportive therapeutic relationship, often drawing on evidence-based cognitive behavioural techniques as well as other approaches.

We will work with you to build your self-esteem and lack of confidence. I will establish your hopes and expectations, explore background factors and support you in your journey to developing inner strength and self-belief.


  • Low self-confidence

  • Low self-worth

  • Shyness

  • Low self-esteem

  • Assertiveness training

  • Interpersonal communication skills


Through therapy for self-esteem you can expect:

  • To understand how low self-esteem develops and is maintained
  • Understand biased expectations and negative expectations
  • Develop tools for self-acceptance
  • Develop skills in adjusting self-rules and assumptions
  • Enhance your core beliefs
  • A personalised toolbox for maintaining a healthy self-esteem
  • Assertiveness training, if relevant.


I am able to help you with low self-esteem counselling in East Melbourne or Frankston. Call Dr Christopher to make an appointment for low self-esteem.


Mon: Fri 9:00 AM - 700 PM
Sat: 9:00 AM - 5:00 PM
Sun: Closed