Rona is here and it is affecting us all. Some of us find ourselves siting at home with partner around All. The. Time. I am not going to pretend and suggest this is easy. Then we add working from home and for others children. We have been in some form of isolation/lockdown for around four weeks. We have relationship stress.
Relationships take work. There is hope a light at the end of the tunnel – and it is not the oncoming train. Relationship stress is common. I would argue that having a smooth sail is not always that common. All relationships experience bumps. Last blog I wrote about scaffolding the relationship. Scaffolding is important as it is the way we support the relationship. Scaffolding underpins the tips in this blog to help you managed some of those relationship challenges in this period of Covid-19. Here are seven strategies to help you strengthen your relationship during the Coronavirus lockdown/isolation.
Collaborate and plan your routine together. Often in a relationship we fly by the seats of our pants and it works. During this time it may not – it often does not in periods of stress. A little planning can go a long way. I have written previously about the need for relationship time (Where partners spend time together) and individual (solitary) time. If you have children also plan family time (and school time). If you live in a shared house also plan household time. It does not have to a regimented timetable. A lose plan is good enough.
Retreat space. Everyone needs space. Try to keep your work space from your relationship and family space if you can. You need space to retreat to for solitary time. I am suggesting make use of the outdoors when you can. Each person needs their own spaces.
Domestic Bliss is achieved by sharing the domestic workload. While working from home ensure you are sharing the domestic duties. Often in a relationship one partner carries a greater responsibility for household tasks. With you both working from home it is recommended you share more of these tasks.
Expectations – Keep your expectations low during times of (relationship) stress – like now! Rather than communicating expectations focus on developing goals – individual and relationship goals. Goals are definable; they are achievable; goals need to be relative to us; and be time focused. Keep the expectations low and the goals simple.
Decisions…Decisions Now is not a time to make big decisions. Keep the decision-making to small, simple decisions. In much the same way as keeping the expectations low and goals simple. During this Corona isolation period and working from home, it is not a time to decide to sell or buy a house or car. Maybe the decision could be to watch a movie would be perfect decision to make.
Don’t Judge your relationship during this time when the world seems topsy-turvy with Covid stress around us. It is not a time to compare your relationship to what others are posting on social media. W have not experienced anything like we are at this time with Rona Iso. Therefore, we have nothing to compare it too!
Avoid alcohol and other substances during times of relationship stress, especially if this escalates issues. Moderation is okay.
Many people are experiencing stress and many relationships are experiencing stress. It is okay to ask your partner, or a friend to help. The seven strategies above will assist you and your partner to achieve a more harmonious moment during this time.
If you are finding the impact of your stress on the relationship is building the team at Sex Life Therapy is here to assist you. We will work with you and your partner/s to develop strategies to help you through these challenging times.
Call us today on 03 9005 5213 or use the form below.
A healthy life includes healthy relationships and a healthy sex life.
Dr Christopher Fox is a Psychosexual and Relationship Therapist at Sex Life Therapy in Melbourne. He has clinics in Collingwood and Frankston. He provides eTherapy using secured platforms.
Find out more about relationship therapy at Sex Life Therapy.
Disclaimer: The information contained in this document should be read as general in nature and is only to provide an overview of the subject matter covered. Please see a an appropriate practitioner if you have any concerns.